I might have a tad of OCD… so
I’ve been told. I haven’t firmly accepted it, but I have to admit there
might be a sign.. or two. I could argue that I’m still cool with the alphabetical
order of the letters OCD, so there’s that! In Sunday School this week,
we discussed false idols. I guess we can turn anything into an idol... a
person, a job, a car, house, social standing, grandchildren (don’t go to
meddlin’), money, pets… the list is endless. Doesn’t mean these things
are bad, but I'm just saying that sometimes our own idols are really hard to spot.
My name is Charlene. I have
an idol. I came to terms with it Sunday afternoon. It’s porcelain.
You see, I am obsessed with a clean toilet. It makes me crazy to walk
into a bathroom where the toilet isn’t clean. I just want to bust out the
bleach and go at it, all the while yelling at the people who don’t take a
minute to clean up after themselves, even if they can’t hear me or don’t know
it’s them. I’m sure I need the 12-step program. “Toilet Idolatry”:
It has a name. I should feel shame. I’m convinced that failure to
clean the toilet when you are done may cause a buildup that will surely throw
the earth out of orbit and plunge us into the sun!
I read recently that in one of the deeply rural areas of India, the residents inaugurated a newly built toilet by performing a ritual worship ceremony. They actually covered the seat with flowers and gave offerings of coconut and bananas to the God of toilets! And they don’t want to use it because they don’t want to get it dirty! I can relate to these people! These people make perfect sense to me!
I was always taught that
cleanliness is next to godliness and I know there were years, when my kids were
littles, that I spent far more time playing than cleaning toilets. I
digress. Today, I was curious where it actually says “Cleanliness is next
to godliness” in the bible. After all, being clean is a sign of spiritual
goodness, right? So I looked and searched and the phrase isn’t actually even in
the bible. It was from a John Wesley sermon in 1778, BUT there’s a
plethora of scriptures that support it. My favorite is in Ecclesiastes
9:8, where Solomon advises that we should always keep our clothes and bodies
clean and smelling well. Hint. Hint.
And then there’s Mary and
Martha. That lesson should be Step 2 in my 12 step program. I’m
VERY Martha and I wanna be more Mary, but there’s that toilet thing that keeps
getting in my way. Somebody told me that a home should be clean enough to
be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. I like the first half of that
comment, really. After all, 1 Corinthians 14:40 reminds us that “all
things should be done decently and in order.” And I’m convinced that
includes cleaning toilets. When I enter my heavenly home, I firmly
believe that I will find the ultimate “House Beautiful”, where the vacuum runs
itself and the mop glides along the floor without any assistance from me and
the toilets clean themselves… and since my home should be an earthly picture of
the heavenly pattern, I am motivated to keep a clean toilet!
But, for now, I’m going to try
not to obsess over it to a point of anger… strive not to make it a
porcelain god, struggle not to freak out when there’s a spot on it… endeavor
not to make it an idol. And while I fight vigorously and resist the urge to grab the bleach, I leave you
with one of my favorite all time quotes:
